We all like to be helped and a lot of us like to help others as well because it makes us feel better about ourselves while we make other people feel good in the same time. It makes us and others happier. That’s why we need to help each other as much as we can. Unfortunately, we all have limited time and energy and we need to pick who to help because we can’t help everyone (see Limited time and energy).
If we have an excess of something, I believe that we should share it with people that need it the most or people that can make our excess even bigger and we can use that to help even more people in need.
If we don’t have an excess, I believe that we need to be careful who we help so we don’t sacrifice our happiness. If we sacrifice our happiness, we will not be able to keep giving. So I believe that it’s always worth helping someone that really appreciates it, that is, they are happy enough to give back what we expect, need or want. I believe that anything that increases our happiness is worth getting, it covers health, security, progress, love or respect (see Happiness). If people can’t give back any of that then we should expect money. If our help doesn’t make other people happier and they don’t give back, we need to stop doing it and concentrate on creating excess.
Good communication makes helping so much easier but sometimes it might be hard with people that we don’t know very well. The reaction of the person that we are trying to help is still the most important confirmation (see Getting to know people around us). If we want to help and don’t know how to, we can try to do what we think makes them happier, see whether they appreciate it and give back. Then we keep repeating it and of course stop or change what we do once their appreciation goes away as it’s a sign it’s not appreciated any more and therefore not valued. I don’t get upset if people don’t appreciate what I do, I try to do a different thing if I care about the person or just stop doing it if the person is not important to me.
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